She was trying to tell you that you need to prepare. Only one third of couples have it easy on their first posting, the rest struggle. To know why and what to do with it, read my reply.

Your partner followed you twice. Now he wants to go home and stop moving around. You tried to negotiate compromises. These buy you time but rarely resolve what is driving the ultimatum.

Six months into a new posting, she is struggling to settle in, he is desperately trying to fix it.

We are living “the dream life” on our posting, why are we both so lonely? Is this normal? Are we doing something wrong?

2026: The Year of the Diplomatic Couple. Where you find yourselves. What you're fighting about. And what to do with it. New posts every Monday.

Thank you for being part of this year. Your stories, your courage and your honesty about your journey are what make this work meaningful.

They say December is a festive season. In case it is not for you, here are three anchors to keep you going.

On waiting for permission you never needed.

You're not ‘adjusting' to diplomatic life. You are moving through predictable stages of financial dependency, and most spouses get stuck at Stage Two without realising it.

You are not imagining it. Financial dependency is real and painful. But it’s also manageable.

Here is what you have lost, why it hurts so much, and what to do about it.

No magic bullet. Just three simple things that make all the difference.

Understanding the three psychological needs your first posting disrupts and what to do about it.

The first year of the first diplomatic posting often comes with surprises.