Learning to sit with the discomfort of not knowing may be the most useful skill a diplomatic spouse can learn, on a first posting, or on a fourth.

As you are preparing to move for your first (or second, or fifth) posting, or already living on one, please check on the state of your couple. How is it doing?

We rarely talk about female diplomats and their male spouses. There is more underneath that anyone admits.

Loneliness and disconnect are on most couples' tables at some point. Diplomatic couples get it with a special sauce.

He looks fine, makes the jokes and does the school run. And inside the posting, he may be the loneliest person in the room.

Why the diplomatic smile costs more than anyone tells you.

When a diplomatic spouse follows their partner on a first posting, they often receive logistical information and, in the same envelope, an annual subscription to loneliness.

Four years on a poting, it’s time to go. But what if she says she feels like home now and doesn’t want to leave?

Every diplomatic spouse keeps a mental list of what this life has cost them. Some ask how to stop counting. But is it the counting that is the problem?

Every diplomatic spouse performs at receptions. But if you are a foreign-born spouse, you have an extra act to play. What is it and what to do about it?

When your couple does not feel good but your partner refuses to go to couples therapy, you may think it is a dead end. But it is not. On his reasons to stall the process and where to find the way out.

She never complains. He always took that to mean she was fine. Until the morning she asked for one thing, and the posting said no.

Two people, a few months to go. Neither is saying a word. Neither is really protecting each other. The posting has not started, but distance did.

You can have a plan, a degree, and every intention of staying yourself. The posting life may have other ideas.

She was trying to tell you that you need to prepare. Only one third of couples have it easy on their first posting, the rest struggle. To know why and what to do with it, read my reply.

Your partner followed you twice. Now he wants to go home and stop moving around. You tried to negotiate compromises. These buy you time but rarely resolve what is driving the ultimatum.

Six months into a new posting, she is struggling to settle in, he is desperately trying to fix it.

We are living “the dream life” on our posting, why are we both so lonely? Is this normal? Are we doing something wrong?

2026: The Year of the Diplomatic Couple. Where you find yourselves. What you're fighting about. And what to do with it. New posts every Monday.

Thank you for being part of this year. Your stories, your courage and your honesty about your journey are what make this work meaningful.